How do you like it if people treat you badly? How do you feel if they are rude to you? You want the best for yourself and you do the best you can to achieve this. Why wouldn’t you do the same for other people?
When I was a kid I remember my grandfather saying to me ‘Treat others as you would want to be treated yourself.’ Even then it struck a chord with me and has stayed with me ever since.
Often, in company, I prefer to be in the background watching and weighing up before I form or express an opinion. I have found that this attitude gives me time to think and to consider how to respond which includes taking into account how any response I give might affect those around me.
Throughout the campaign this really stood me in good stead and many a potential pitfall was avoided by this brief consideration. On the other hand I was often personally appalled at how some behaved or expressed themselves without thinking, with little or no thought for the consequences of their actions or whom they might be hurting. However rather than being offended or reacting negatively, their very rudeness or ill considered actions quite often opened a door for myself and the PSG to press home our point and achieve our aims.
Of course, I am not a robot so, yes, privately, some of it did find their mark and hurt but I tried not to let it show. I was always bewildered afterwards, wondering why they deemed it necessary to act so. To my mind it is such a waste of time and energy being so unpleasant but tried to rationalise it to myself by remembering it takes all sorts to make the world go round.
It has always been my personal experience that I normally get what I was aiming for in the first place if I am pleasant, courteous, thoughtful and try to appreciate the others point of view, even if I disagree with them.
Of course I am not infallible but if I do ever act in a way I perceive or come to realise is inappropriate I am very quick to apologise. I feel genuinely contrite and I try to learn from it so I don’t repeat the same mistake in the future.
Have a go for yourself. The hanging back, considering before you act or speak needn’t take long and those affected by your words or actions will thank you for it.